I can't stop this feeling...

Gosh, I don't think I could Blog anymore today if I really wanted to. I am starting to read the book the secret (http://www.thesecret.tv/ ). Lex and I are going to compare thoughts and notes about it. I think it will be good for both of us. She also mentioned as a joke that I needed to read a book called Stop Obsessing... my first reaction: obsessing about what? Ahhh, my weight she points out.

See, lex finally just read all of my blogs last night. I obviously need to explain my obsession a little more... a while ago I read a diet book called the carbohydrates addicts diet (don't try to follow it, not a good life style choice) and one of the things the author/doctor/whatever mentioned was the idea of weighing your self everyday b/c then you see what you are averaging. So ever since I read that I have weighed myself almost every day. It becomes a little consuming but thats part of me now. Even if and when I lose the weight I want, I am sure I will still get on that damn scale everyday. Its more of a reminder than anything else. When the needle points to a number too high its like whoa buddy... gotta lay off of whatever I have been eating but when the needle goes lower its like yeah, and what biotches. It has also trained me to know pretty much how much I weigh without even getting on the scale. Its kinda scary I can guess my weight within a 2 pound difference.

Some of you might call it some kind of mild disorder. Call it what you want. I don't really care. Its not like I am making myself puke or starving myself. I couldn't deal with the permanent heartburn or the constant hunger pains. I call this my own monitoring system. I had stopped weighing myself for a while and then one day got back on and was the WTF!?!?! It was seriously the heaviest I had ever been. Since then I got back on the scale daily...

So thats my story and I am sticking to it.